So, random - and possibly brief thought here...
Today I was told I was liked by some poor impressionable sod, because I was 'cool'. Naturally I laughed it off, I am not cool! But the friend giving me such a label persisted.... and It has given me pause to think...
At school, I was poor, awkward and clumsy - I was an oddball (and not through choice, I didn't know who I was at the time). Did I want the popular kids to like me? I don't know, I don't remember - but isn't that how most people get on in school? So I'm not gonna lie, I will just say possibly (although, the friends I had were damn good ones and, now - I would pick them over the 'cool kids' any day) hell, probably even. I had a massive chip on my shoulder and a terrible attitude, I openly drove people away - I will never really know why, I think some fucked up defence mechanism! It's not relevant now!
The point is - I was never anyone who could be classed as cool, EVER!
So, how is it now, that I remain outside the crowd and yet I have been given this label? I am still not financially well off (I am frivolous as hell with my spare cash). I am still awkward and clumsy, however I make it funny now. Do I want t be friends with the 'in crowd'? Fuck no! I want to be friends with the genuine people, the ones who I can turn to, who except all my 'off the wall crap and don't get freaked out by my shit-storm of a mind, those who accept my fuck ups as a lovable trait! And luckily I am!
So, all things told, I am not entirely different! I am more assured of myself, I have lost the terrible chip on my shoulder and I have belief in myself for standing out.
I am just amused that a label that I have been given today I have been given for practically all the same reasons I would never have been given that same label 16 years or so ago! I would love to say it's because society has changed, but I know its just that my friends have grown up - and they are awesome (well, of course, they have to deal with me, bless them!)
haha.. its probably something to do with the fact you do what you want, and don't worry about how other people react.
ReplyDeleteI guess once you leave school no-one knows if you were "cool" or not.
True... its just an odd concept to me. I don't see myself as 'cool'. Wilful, stubborn maybe and I do indeed follow my own path!
ReplyDeleteWow, When my delorian is working I should go tell 15 year old me that! :D