So, random - and possibly brief thought here...
Today I was told I was liked by some poor impressionable sod, because I was 'cool'. Naturally I laughed it off, I am not cool! But the friend giving me such a label persisted.... and It has given me pause to think...
At school, I was poor, awkward and clumsy - I was an oddball (and not through choice, I didn't know who I was at the time). Did I want the popular kids to like me? I don't know, I don't remember - but isn't that how most people get on in school? So I'm not gonna lie, I will just say possibly (although, the friends I had were damn good ones and, now - I would pick them over the 'cool kids' any day) hell, probably even. I had a massive chip on my shoulder and a terrible attitude, I openly drove people away - I will never really know why, I think some fucked up defence mechanism! It's not relevant now!
The point is - I was never anyone who could be classed as cool, EVER!
So, how is it now, that I remain outside the crowd and yet I have been given this label? I am still not financially well off (I am frivolous as hell with my spare cash). I am still awkward and clumsy, however I make it funny now. Do I want t be friends with the 'in crowd'? Fuck no! I want to be friends with the genuine people, the ones who I can turn to, who except all my 'off the wall crap and don't get freaked out by my shit-storm of a mind, those who accept my fuck ups as a lovable trait! And luckily I am!
So, all things told, I am not entirely different! I am more assured of myself, I have lost the terrible chip on my shoulder and I have belief in myself for standing out.
I am just amused that a label that I have been given today I have been given for practically all the same reasons I would never have been given that same label 16 years or so ago! I would love to say it's because society has changed, but I know its just that my friends have grown up - and they are awesome (well, of course, they have to deal with me, bless them!)
